Letting the Relationship Blossom

Right, so now we are as ready as we can be with our interests all chalked out and our profiles posted. It is perfect picture. It is almost like being seated alone at this posh restaurant, dressed to kill, with a glass of champagne in one hand and the other hand swung over the back of the chair. You have a smile on your lips, a twinkle in your eye and an invitation on your face.

So what happens next? This person who appears to be the perfect match for you catches your eye and saunters towards you. Now what do you do? Please remember that the description above was pertaining to a virtual environment. In effect, what we meant is that while you spend time idling in a chat room, this is the mood that you are going to generate.

So what happens when a person takes the cue and starts chatting? Well, that really is an intelligent question. I would like to make one thing straight over here. The Internet is like any other highway. It is not safe until you get to know your way around. So what I would suggest would be to trust your instincts and proceed with caution. You can sound like a very warm person but please be extremely cautious about giving out any personal information.

Nicknames and Pet names

Let the other person know that you would prefer to be known by the handle you use or even better, you could tell the person to call you a pet name but let the person know that it is indeed a pet name, because at a later date, if the relationship really blossoms it doesn't look nice if you have to say something like, "Gee, I'm sorry, but my name isn't really Janice, it is Heptullah, I guess I lied to you."

The best thing in this case would be to let your self be known by the name of some celebrity. You could call yourself Cinderella or Pocahontas or Archie, or Betty or Veronica. The chatting has now begun and you can start exchanging information. Keep to the general and stay away from the specific.

Helping your Memory

The human brain is indeed a remarkable thing. It is capable of storing and processing such a wide range of information that even a supercomputer would shy away when compared to it. But due to the virtual explosion of information, our memories have become very selective.

This means that we cannot recollect everything that we hear or see. Do not trust your memory too much when it comes to chatting over the net. You might meet a lot of people over the net and you might chat with a couple of them. So eventually it might become difficult to remember all of them and their details as well. Or even worse than that is that you might become confused and mix up details.

It would look bad for you if you call a person the wrong name, or ask the person the wrong details. In such cases where you have been chatting with a number of persons, for heaven's sake jot down the details about each person separately or create separate files for each person ad store them in your computer. When you add them to your friends list use handles or nicknames that can help you remember the person the moment you start chatting at a later date.

Now, in case you do not really remember the person, then it is unadvisable to play the guessing game. The other person might get very offended if you say something like, "Is it Sarah or Mary?"

In such cases when you have a genuine lapse of memory, the best thing to do is to be honest with the person and say, "I know we chatted the other day, but I'm terribly sorry, can you please refresh my memory about you?"

Small Talk

There are few topics that are best for the initial talks so that an intimacy is not developed and at the same time you do not have to struggle for matters of common interest. You can talk about the weather, sports, movies, music and even food. But at the same it is in bad taste to discuss religion, politics and family matters in the initial stages. You can crack jokes but dirty jokes are an absolute no-no at least in the first few talks.

Once you have talked more than once or twice and you feel comfortable with the person you can give the person your e-mail address but remember this is the first step towards virtual intimacy so you have to trust your instincts and nothing else. This takes things out of the public chat rooms and into the private inboxes.